Men Of Few Words

Do you believe in the crap research that women speaks more words than men on a daily basis? I've just Googled the statistics and found two things. Firstly, the "researched" figures are random. Some articles that claim that word usage ratio between the genders is 15,000:25,000. But I've read others that say it is only 2,000:7,000. I've even read results that identify no real significant difference between the genders at all! So what is the real ratio for the number of words spoken by each gender? Secondly, where is the supporting evidence? No reliable statistics could be sourced -- all have claimed to have counted the number of words from their sample population but no actual supporting evidence found anywhere.

So, do men really use less words than women? I'd say yes. Women can behave like best of friends even if they only met for the first time! How? They find a common topic to chat about! Whereas for men, they can have beer all night at a pub without more than a few backslap and a some friendly "Cheers!".

But how about in a relationship? Do you find endless things to talk to your partner about? Or do you find yourself running out of conversation topics if you have spoken for more than a certain period of time? I'd like to think that there would be a world of things to be discussed, to raise opinions to, to laugh over. Because even the smallest event would be important enough to be shared, even the most mundane dailies would be cute, even the most boring topic could be an avenue to start a cheeky banter.

I do not subscribe to the belief that a comfortable silence between two persons is the best conversation ever. I'm with the school of thought that propagates how-would-I-know-unless-you-say-it-dammit! Can't blame a girl for feeling bored -- or worse, boring -- if the guy chooses to stick to his 2,000 words quota. Can't help it if one party doesn't read other non-verbal cues well. Can't force it if conversations don't flow, interests don't get piqued, things don't get said. Or heard.


So talk, boys! Expand your vocabulary beyond the regular "uh-huh..." and "really?". Ask what happened next, fake your enthusiasm, behave as if it was the best piece of news you've heard all day even if we were talking about tampon brands, or the injured kitty we saved, or the price of broccoli in the market.

Even if you are tired, or seriously running out of steam to pretend, don't stay silent. No, and looking lovingly at us does not help. Instead, tell us how much you miss us. Or how adorable we are. We'll may just be distracted enough to overlook the fact that you are just not quite interested in the on-going topic. And at least there won't be defening silence on the phone.

You know what they say. Men fall in love through their eyes, women their ears.

So whisper sweet nothings to me. Serenade me. Declare your love constantly. "Men of few words" is totally overrated.

Flowchart

This puts a smile on my face this dreadful Monday after an awesome getaway at the most beautiful beach resort ever. Hope it has the same effect on you too. :)

Fawn Over Me

Allure me with sincerity, captivate me with beauty, enchant me with knowledge, charm me with generosity. But fawn over me with beautiful words, and I am forever yours.


Perhaps I mean it when I say flattery totally -- and always -- works with me.

A man falls in love through his eyes, a woman through her ears.
~ Woodrow Wyatt

Simplicity

Let the sea breeze run through my hair, let the warm ray beat down on my pale skin, let my worries be carried away by the silence at the beach, let me breathe in Life, and soak up its goodness, and revel in its simplicity again.

There's nothing I'd love to do now more than this. And I could do this all day. I would.

Happy

Happiness is paramount in my life.
For you... if understands what it means to be truly happy too.

Uncertainty

I'm paralysed by uncertainties. The road ahead is long and treacherous. I'm burdened and lonely.


I need time out to recharge and rejuvenate. I need to restructure my battle plan.
I need to find myself again in these times of uncertainty.

Passion

I have a problem with mediocrity.
I have a problem with people who settle -- people who choose the safe, unadventurous, don't-ask-don't-know way of life. I have a problem with people who don't challenge their limits, who don't get out of their comfort zone, who settle for a mediocre lives. We have only ONE shot in life. Just one. So why don't do you something good with it? Within or beyond your capability, achieve something good that you can be proud of, leave a legacy, proved you have lived a good life.

I can't settle of ordariness. I can't be just-another-one-out-there. I can't do anything that does not bring me joy. In fact, I say I function on fun, on happiness, on passion, on love! Everything that I have done hitherto has made me happy. I have been passionate about everything I do.

In school, I love physics and mathematics. So I completed a Bachelor of Engineering degree, despite all the disbeliefs (yes, lots of it!) and hardwork that came with it. (But boy, it was really tough!) Then I decided that I love to travel. So I got me a job that pays me to travel.

So while most of my peers slogged away in their offices, caught in a intangible society-imposed rat race and wasting away the best years of our 20s, I was a happy traveller! Four good years of travelling and life experience! I saw a lot, learnt a lot, lived a lot. I was very very happy with life, very very in love with life, very very passionate about life.

Then I decided it was time to come home. I also knew that I wouldn't be happy being stuck in front of a computer 8 hours a day, exchanging my time for cash at the end of the month. I knew I wanted more. I wanted to challenge my threshold, my goals, my capability. So here I am, working for myself -- setting long and short term goals for myself, motivating my entrepreneurial soul, trudging forward slowly but surely. Some days I do feel beaten too. But when I think about being another souless person who-hates-her-job-but-must-do-it, I'm glad I dare to do the things I do. I dare to be different, be myself, be happy and passionate.

And I am happy. I have been happy with every decision I made in life. If I had to choose life all over again, I wouldn't change a thing. I'm serious. So pardon me if I despise people who have no passion in life. I have no tolerance for people who are "happy" just getting by. I hate boring people who don't do anything exciting in their lives. (Or on weekends. And weekdays. Oh heck, everyday!) I thrive on passion, on fun, on love, on happiness. How about you?

Are you happy to just get by? Are you a "one of them"? When you examine your life, have you done well? Have you been happy, passionate, lived well? Are you still hungry for life everyday?

We pass this life only once. One life, live it.

What is your passion in life?

Getting Over A Relationship

I just love Sex and the City (SATC. Acroymns are supposed to be cooler, I was told). I was having one of those boring Saturday evenings -- friends and myself are all recovering from the wild clubbing the previous evening, just for the record -- so I decided to watch a random episode of SATC. In this episode, Carrie just ended her relationship with Mr Big and was having a hard time with the break up. Her girl friends suggested various ways to get over him. Some wanted her to jump right back into the dating scene, others allowed her to grieve. And I quote Charlotte:

It takes half the total time you went out with someone to get over them.

I've heard this from my girl friends too. You know, whenever a sista breaks up, we'll take them out for a male-bashing session, dishing out wise advices from our Breakup 101 Manual... until one hits home with her. Uh-huh, the typical "You deserves someone better" or "Keep yourself busy". You know what I'm talking about. What do you think about Charlotte's mathematical solution to relationships? Half the relationship period to get over them?

I guess it's not so much of the exact time frame. But it allows you a period to grieve, to eat tubs of Ben & Jerry's guiltlessly, to have free access to anyone's shoulder to cry on, to use retail therapy as a valid clinical assistance to your condition. And you do know that once that period deadline is over, you'll have to try to recover, to move on, to get over it.

If it is any comfort, I've learnt lately that with each relationship passed, we learn more and more about ourselves. We learn what we want from our partner, and what we don't need. What we would tolerate, and what is non-negotiable. We become clear about what kind of relationship we desire. We do not try to change what the other person is so as to fit into our idea of the "perfect relationship". I have been guilty of doing that too! Through the many tears shed, I've (finally!) learnt the best approach is to know what factors truly matter in your relationship. If you can accept the shortcomings, go ahead and be in it. One must truly be able to accept those blotches. But if the flaw is as big as Sarah Jessica Parker's (now-removed) mole a plank in your eye, then leave it -- don't even attempt to change anyone to fit your world, I beg you. It never would.

Accept, if you can.
Leave, if you can't.

It can be that simple. It ought to be. And this time round, I'm keeping it that simple. I have finally figured it out. :)

Plenty Of Fishes

Conversation with my best friend, on the topic of "plenty of fishes in the sea".

ME: When you said "other fishes in the sea", you are referring to X, right?
BEST FRIEND: X is a great white SHARK! He is not a fish! Please!

My best friend always manage to crack me up! She's the best!

And I Love You So

And I love you so
The people ask me how
How I've lived till now
I tell them I don't know

I guess they understand
How lonely life
has been
But life began again
The day you took my hand

And yes I
know how lonely life can be
The shadows follow me
And the night won't
set me free
But I don't let the evening get me down
Now that you're
around me

And you love me too
Your thoughts are just for me
You set my spirit free
I'm happy that you do
The book of life is brief
And once a page is read
All but love is dead
That is my belief

And yes I know how loveless life can be
The shadows follow me
And the night won't set me free
But I don't let the evening get me down
Now that you're around me

And I love you so
The people ask me how
How I've lived till now
I tell them I don't know

I fell in love. With Harry Connick Jr's latest album Your Songs. I fell even deeper in love with his rendition of And I Love You So. What an album! I only knew him as an actor, but boy his muscial talent far surpasses his acting skills. You have to get this album because all the songs in this album is perfect for any time of the day! You'll fall in love with his deep soulful voice too!

I'm not one of those girls who dream about their wedding day since they were 12, or "already know" what their future wedding dress looks like. I've never understood why this day is known as "the big day" of one's life (it's could very well be "the end of the good days" too! :P). I've never fantasize about the man standing at the end of the aisle, or wish I'm a Mrs-something soon. I'm just not that kinda girl.

But when I heard And I Love You So, I literally saw a first dance - in my mind! Yep, that wedding first dance. (Disclaimer: Not my wedding dance. Just "a" wedding first dance.) Every single time I hear it, that first dance image would play in my mind -- again and again. It's a strange feeling. It's all dreamy and sweet.
In this vision, everyone else disappears.
Dark background.
Flowers and sash drape a white canopy.
A newly-wedded couple dances in the middle.
Sharp black suit for groom.
The bride adorned in a cream satin gown, with intricate design of beads and pearls.
They are moving slowly, cheek-to-cheek. In love and in tuned with each other's paces. I don't see their faces but joy overflows them. The brides smiles with blush radiance, the groom holds her close to his heart... treasuredly. Love and happiness is evident and overwhelming. What a vision!

Besides And I Love You So, I have only ever remotely thought about another song as (my?) ideal wedding songs. Officially Yours by Craig David. I know, it's an entirely different genre song. But its speaks to me, every time I hear it too! Sing to me, baby, and I'm yours!

I'm officially going on the record
To say I'm in love with you
I'm officially everything you hope that I would be
This time I'll tell the truth

So there you go, Miss Say's wedding songs review. Now, let me go find the Husband. ;)