Men Of Few Words

Do you believe in the crap research that women speaks more words than men on a daily basis? I've just Googled the statistics and found two things. Firstly, the "researched" figures are random. Some articles that claim that word usage ratio between the genders is 15,000:25,000. But I've read others that say it is only 2,000:7,000. I've even read results that identify no real significant difference between the genders at all! So what is the real ratio for the number of words spoken by each gender? Secondly, where is the supporting evidence? No reliable statistics could be sourced -- all have claimed to have counted the number of words from their sample population but no actual supporting evidence found anywhere.

So, do men really use less words than women? I'd say yes. Women can behave like best of friends even if they only met for the first time! How? They find a common topic to chat about! Whereas for men, they can have beer all night at a pub without more than a few backslap and a some friendly "Cheers!".

But how about in a relationship? Do you find endless things to talk to your partner about? Or do you find yourself running out of conversation topics if you have spoken for more than a certain period of time? I'd like to think that there would be a world of things to be discussed, to raise opinions to, to laugh over. Because even the smallest event would be important enough to be shared, even the most mundane dailies would be cute, even the most boring topic could be an avenue to start a cheeky banter.

I do not subscribe to the belief that a comfortable silence between two persons is the best conversation ever. I'm with the school of thought that propagates how-would-I-know-unless-you-say-it-dammit! Can't blame a girl for feeling bored -- or worse, boring -- if the guy chooses to stick to his 2,000 words quota. Can't help it if one party doesn't read other non-verbal cues well. Can't force it if conversations don't flow, interests don't get piqued, things don't get said. Or heard.


So talk, boys! Expand your vocabulary beyond the regular "uh-huh..." and "really?". Ask what happened next, fake your enthusiasm, behave as if it was the best piece of news you've heard all day even if we were talking about tampon brands, or the injured kitty we saved, or the price of broccoli in the market.

Even if you are tired, or seriously running out of steam to pretend, don't stay silent. No, and looking lovingly at us does not help. Instead, tell us how much you miss us. Or how adorable we are. We'll may just be distracted enough to overlook the fact that you are just not quite interested in the on-going topic. And at least there won't be defening silence on the phone.

You know what they say. Men fall in love through their eyes, women their ears.

So whisper sweet nothings to me. Serenade me. Declare your love constantly. "Men of few words" is totally overrated.

Getting Over A Relationship

I just love Sex and the City (SATC. Acroymns are supposed to be cooler, I was told). I was having one of those boring Saturday evenings -- friends and myself are all recovering from the wild clubbing the previous evening, just for the record -- so I decided to watch a random episode of SATC. In this episode, Carrie just ended her relationship with Mr Big and was having a hard time with the break up. Her girl friends suggested various ways to get over him. Some wanted her to jump right back into the dating scene, others allowed her to grieve. And I quote Charlotte:

It takes half the total time you went out with someone to get over them.

I've heard this from my girl friends too. You know, whenever a sista breaks up, we'll take them out for a male-bashing session, dishing out wise advices from our Breakup 101 Manual... until one hits home with her. Uh-huh, the typical "You deserves someone better" or "Keep yourself busy". You know what I'm talking about. What do you think about Charlotte's mathematical solution to relationships? Half the relationship period to get over them?

I guess it's not so much of the exact time frame. But it allows you a period to grieve, to eat tubs of Ben & Jerry's guiltlessly, to have free access to anyone's shoulder to cry on, to use retail therapy as a valid clinical assistance to your condition. And you do know that once that period deadline is over, you'll have to try to recover, to move on, to get over it.

If it is any comfort, I've learnt lately that with each relationship passed, we learn more and more about ourselves. We learn what we want from our partner, and what we don't need. What we would tolerate, and what is non-negotiable. We become clear about what kind of relationship we desire. We do not try to change what the other person is so as to fit into our idea of the "perfect relationship". I have been guilty of doing that too! Through the many tears shed, I've (finally!) learnt the best approach is to know what factors truly matter in your relationship. If you can accept the shortcomings, go ahead and be in it. One must truly be able to accept those blotches. But if the flaw is as big as Sarah Jessica Parker's (now-removed) mole a plank in your eye, then leave it -- don't even attempt to change anyone to fit your world, I beg you. It never would.

Accept, if you can.
Leave, if you can't.

It can be that simple. It ought to be. And this time round, I'm keeping it that simple. I have finally figured it out. :)

Waking Up To These

Waking up to these.

I know I said this before but I'd just like to say it again. I love flowers. When I opened my eyes this morning, the scarlet roses were the first things I saw. I could get used to waking up this way! Any woman could. Bliss.

Of Abaya And Niqab

I came across this funny picture when I was surfing the internet. It was posted on this Muslim girl's blog about abaya fashion -- yes, she advises on how to bling-ified the black cloth or accessorise the overall look! She gives very interesting and useful tips for abaya-cloaked ladies. I actually enjoyed her blog reading very much.

I have always wondered how the ladies wearing niqab distinguish one friend from another. Is it just by the different abayas they are wearing? Or eye makeup (which I promise you, the Arab ladies does the best eye makeup in the world)? I've asked this question many times to many Arab friends but never got a satisfying answer. Usually the answer is "you just know". As for me, I only try to differentiate them by their abaya's blings or their handbags. So far it works... but once. I approached the wrong abaya-cloaked lady and spoke to her for several minutes before realising she was not the right person I was looking for. Blimey!

Did I mention I especially love the metal face veil of the traditional Emirati women? I find the metal piece very alluring and emphasises her big black eyes. The professing of my like for the metal face veil is often met with strong reactions from my friends. Same queer looks I get when I tell them how much I adore the Arabic oud perfume! Ah, I'm really made to live in this part of the world! (That'll be another blog entry on its own another day.)

99 Red Roses

Any girl who says she doesn't like flowers is a liar. No, no excuse at all. All girls love flowers. Yeah so what if they are not the most practical gifts? A little romanticism goes a long way. A maximum-wow-effect gesture surely won't go unnoticed. And a bouquet of red roses to greet me in the morning still puts a wide smile on my face. Every single time I look at it.

Ninety-nine red roses to be exact. That's the number of roses in this bouquet. The scarlet red roses bled envy from other girls, and invited admiring stares from other guys. That is the full effect of a hugh bouquet of flower. And I cannot say I did not enjoy the attention.

Flowers are really one of the prettiest thing in this world. I love watching them bloom into their full grandeur, I love running my fingers through the powdery-soft petals, I love putting my nose against them and taking in the floral fragrance.

Ninety-nine roses. A very special birthday gift indeed.

I'm a woman, let me indulge in romanticism, fairy tales, beauty, love. And impractical resplendent gifts.

Full Of Crap

Today we're going to talk about a rather unpleasant topic.
Constipation. (Or being full of crap, literally.)

City dwellers like you and I are faced with high stress, fast paced lifestyles. The direct consequences of this are irregular eating habits, unsound sleeping patterns, and aplenty illnesses and pains. Especially for women, the problem of constipation is one that plagues many. I have had this problems for many years (decades, even!) and so I'm totally qualified to share with you the remedies that work. I've tried medicine, exercise, alternative chinese medicine, etc. They are of little use. There are only two things that has ever work for me. Ever.

1) Drink water first thing in the morning
As one of the reason for constipation is the lack of water intake in the body, this results in the body absorbing the water from the digested food in the colon. Hence we must replenish the water loss. Drink (at least) a glass of water when you wake up. Let it be the first thing you do once you open your eyes -- before you brush your teeth, before you check your blackberry, before you figure out how you get home the night before.

Drink a glass of room temperature water. Forget warm water, or water with lemon. Or apple cider vinegar. Just plain water of any source (yes, even tap water if they are potable.) I place a bottle of water next to my bed and reach for it even before I hit the first Snooze button. Then when I finally hit the 63rd Snooze and ready to get out of bed, my body is well-rehydrated after the night's sleep. Your body absorbed this water quickly as it has been devoid of water during the your sleep. This water is imperative in preparing your bowel for the day's activity ahead.

2) Have oatmeal for breakfast
If you are like me who love having hot breakfast, then oatmeal is the best thing you can have! Oatmeal is full of fibre which is the nemesis of constipation. Insoluble fibre (like wheat and oat) adds bulk to the stools by softening them so they move easily through the digestive tract. Cook your oatmeal with lots of water so to make it into a watery porridge. Add two tablespoonful of condensed milk and you'll have a perfect healthy breakfast recipe! It's totally yummy! There are days when I wake up craving for the smooth warm cereal first thing in the morning!

Some days when I am lazy to cook, I'll have oatmeal for all three meals! I have a superb savoury oatmeal recipe that'll nurse my hungry stomach in matter of minutes! That's the time one takes to cook the wax-coated, deep-fried, MSG-laden instant noodles! I ♥ oatmeal!

Water and oatmeal have to work hand-in-hand to resolve the problem of constipation. Fibre retains the water we take in. So without fibre, the water we drink gets absorbed directly into the bloodstream or removed from the body as urine. So we need to increase the fibre we eat as we increase the water we drink.

I've never believed these methods when others encouraged me to try -- I'm a pretty skeptical person, you see. But out of desperation, I did. And it's changed my life forever. Two simple things you need to do to make those toilet trip more pleasant.

Remember:
Drink water first thing in the morning + Oatmeal breakfast
No more expensive colposcopy or Ducolax or sweat-breaking toilet trips.

Hope: Drug or Remedy

Was watching a re-run of Sex and the City yesterday. One can never get enough of this show! No matter what age group you belong to, no matter how many times you've watched the show, no matter which stage in life or what emotional state you are watching the show at, you'll always relate to one part of the show or other. You'll always find a "that's me!"-moment. You'll also be thankful there are millions and millions of women out there struggling with the same issues you've been so tortured with, and that your problem is not unique. And there are solutions to it. Even if there are none, take heart in knowing that some of us do really understand you. (Alright, unless you are a man.)

In the episode last night, Carrie Bradshaw asked this question:
Is hope a drug we need to go off of or is it keeping us alive?

This questiong has been going through my mind all day. Why do women torture ourselves with aching hopes, and then get ourselves crushed when hope drops us from the high? Are you not strong enough to go off the drug of hope, and rather be addicted to hope and risk your heart out there over and over again?

Or is hope the elixir of life that puts that dance in your step each day, making you more alive whenever you remember how all the risks and optimism may someday reap a good harvest? In the book of Corinthians in the bible, it says "And now these three remain: faith, hope and love." It is certainly a very important essence in life. What's a life if you can't/wont' even believe in hope anymore?

Is hope a drug we need to go off of or is it keeping us alive?