Flicker of Hope

Just a very very tiny flicker of hope in the universe of darkness. I saw just a very weak flame of hope in the depravity of this all. Dare I breathe relief into the world? Not yet. Do I have a strength to keep walking on? Perhaps just enough.

Keep watching that flame. Tiny hope in this dark silent world.

Worrying

This is easier said than done. And I'm incessantly worried about many things now. In a constant tensed state of being and loathing this feeling.

Why is it that when you need to pray the most that you find it hard to focus? God help me.

The One Who Got Away

Remember the one who got away?

The one whose smell still lingers in your faint memory, the one who makes you break into girly blushes every time you see him walking towards you, the one whom you wait all day by the phone for, the one who is always perfect in your eyes, the one whom you finally open your heart and love unconditionally.

Things don't always work out the way we wish. Sometimes it is a matter of meeting each other at the wrong time in your lives. Sometimes it is a unresolved misunderstanding. Sometimes it is circumstances in your lives that you do not have control over. Whatever the cause, the end came too soon. The pain is crushing, and you wonder if you ever recover from it.

But we all do. We all get over it someday. Time is the healer of all things, most things.

Then you fall in love again - with someone even better. He treats you exactly the way you always wished to be treated, he surprises you gifts and possesses a charming personality. All your friends and family loves him. But most of you, he adores you.

But you know you will never love like you did before. Your heart is not whole anymore. At the back of your mind, you wonder if you will ever have the capacity to love completely again? Will you ever have the courage to love recklessly like a teenager again?

Your heart is wary and weary.

You will always remember the one who got away. The one who comes to mind when you try to remember how love feels like. The one who taught you everything about love and pain. The one to whom you measure everyone who came after him.

The one who got away... got away. It is hard not to think about the what-ifs. You try your best to lock the bittersweet memories away. But one song, one smell, one word, one scene, can send you awash with the memories again. It is hard. It will be always hard from this point forth. But you just learn to live with the dull pain in your heart when you remember the past. You just try to lock up the memories again and go on.

"Sometimes it last in love

But sometimes it hurts instead"

- Someone Like You (by Adele)

p.s. This is a backdated entry that has been sitting in my Draft. Decided to publish it afterall. 

King of Anything

I hate to break it to you babe 

But I'm not drowning 

There's no one here to save 

Who cares if you disagree 

You are not me 

Who made you king of anything 

So you dare tell me who to be 

Who died 

And made you king of anything

(King of Anything, by Sara Bareilles)

A smirk turns up at the corner of my lips when I heard this song this morning. Reminds me of a certain someone who craves to be the king of everything. So here's dedicating this song to everyone who knows someone like that.

Dental Health

Spent the whole day at the dentist's. Fixed a cracked molar, got a new crown, and poorer by a few grand.

I'm a big believer of dental health. Nip the problem in the bud, always. It will be a small price to pay against the potential prolonged suffering - orally and financially.

Forever can never be long enough

Forever can never be long enough for me 

To feel like I've had long enough with you 

Forget the world now we won't let them see 

But there's one thing left to do 

Now that the weight has lifted 

Love has surely shifted my way 

Marry me 

Today and every day 

Marry me
If I ever get the nerve to say

Hello in this cafe 

Say you will Mm-hmm 

Say you will 

Mm-hmm 

Together can never be close enough for me

To feel like I am close enough to you 

You wear white and I'll wear out the words I love you

And you're beautiful 

Now that the wait is over 

And love and has finally shown her my way

Promise me

You'll always be

Happy by my side

I promise to

Sing to you

When all the music dies

(Marry Me, by Train)

Keep Going

Things have been rough lately. Need a reminder to hang in there, and just keep going.

Some days, it does feel like this is hell and too much to bear. Is there a light at the end of this dark tunnel? Just gotta keep going, keep trudging on until you get somewhere. You will. Everyone does.

agnès b.

agnès b.

... is pronounced "ahn-nias beh" (soft "b", like in better)

I don't care what you have been told or have read on the internet. Trust me on this one.

Celine Resort 2012

Can't get this out of my head.

Need a new distraction because it will be coming to the store real soon!

Stand Up

I have never been shy to speak up. I may have stepped on a few toes along the way, but I would not change a thing. What life is lived going with the flow, never raising an opinion, always being a crowd-pleaser?

Glad someone agrees with me.