How To Make New Friends

Whoever laments that it is difficult to make new friends at our twirty-something age, I'd just like to retort that it is not. It is easier than asking your boss for a promotion, it is not as hard as waking up at six in the morning, and it take more skills to scrub your bathtub when you have perfectly manicured nails than to make new friends.

Just be out there! Be open to going to a concert with your friend's friend's friends, or taking up tennis class with your cousin's colleagues, or meeting up for drinks with your sister's boyfriend's friends. Be open to invitations, and just have fun! When you simply throw yourselves out there and expect nothing but a fun time for yourself, you will attract happy people into your life. You will make new friends along the way -- without even trying.

It has been just over a week since I arrive home and even without planning, an array of activities has been lined up for me. Last week, a girl friend invited me to wakeboard with her boyfriend. I went along even though I haven't done it in years. Afterall, it'd just be a few good laughs should I submarine-d instead of ride the waves. Her boyfriend brought a friend along and after sharing a few (lame) jokes during the boat ride, we were camera-whoring like old friends do.

Last Saturday, my best friend's colleague celebrated her birthday at one of the most popular club in town. My best friend invited me to hang out with her Engineering department colleagues. Despite initial suspicion it would be an uneventful evening, her colleagues turned out to be dancing kings/queens. They were welcoming and chatty, and I learnt more than a few internal jokes and scandals.

Another friend invited me to a gig last night. It was a new album launch gig by a local band of which one of the member is his friend. I know neither the band nor the friend. I have never even attended a gig before! But it didn't take me long to agree to go. Always say yes, if you can, someone once told me. You never know what opportunities life holds for you. And indeed, I met three amazing girls at the gig. They were my friend's university friends. Upon seeing I was left alone at the bar when my friend went for a smoke outside, they invited me to join them at their table. I did, and they made special effort to include me in their conversations. We laughed, goss-ed, drank, and promised to stay in touch when the evening ended.

Throw yourself out there to allow life to open up doors for you. Have a soda the pub with your colleagues even if you don't drink. Have a go at the Pilates class which your best friend has been inviting you to try. Movie night with your friend's poker friends? Why not? You'll be surprise how easy it is to meet new people, and how many folks out there are open to making new friends just like you are.

Remember that everyone is just as uncertain about making new friends too. I am not one that advises people to "just be yourself". (I'll stay in bed all day if I'll just be myself!) You need to push yourself just a little more. My best advice: Be a little more chatty when you meet new friends. Don't just speak only when asked. Do the asking too. Then listen and respond. Everyone likes to talk to someone who seems interested. (And interesting!) Be that someone. It's that easy to make new friends.

I'm loving my new friendships, the excitement of joining new activities, the prospect of knowing there's a world of friends-who-don't-know-one-another-yet.