Getting Over A Relationship

I just love Sex and the City (SATC. Acroymns are supposed to be cooler, I was told). I was having one of those boring Saturday evenings -- friends and myself are all recovering from the wild clubbing the previous evening, just for the record -- so I decided to watch a random episode of SATC. In this episode, Carrie just ended her relationship with Mr Big and was having a hard time with the break up. Her girl friends suggested various ways to get over him. Some wanted her to jump right back into the dating scene, others allowed her to grieve. And I quote Charlotte:

It takes half the total time you went out with someone to get over them.

I've heard this from my girl friends too. You know, whenever a sista breaks up, we'll take them out for a male-bashing session, dishing out wise advices from our Breakup 101 Manual... until one hits home with her. Uh-huh, the typical "You deserves someone better" or "Keep yourself busy". You know what I'm talking about. What do you think about Charlotte's mathematical solution to relationships? Half the relationship period to get over them?

I guess it's not so much of the exact time frame. But it allows you a period to grieve, to eat tubs of Ben & Jerry's guiltlessly, to have free access to anyone's shoulder to cry on, to use retail therapy as a valid clinical assistance to your condition. And you do know that once that period deadline is over, you'll have to try to recover, to move on, to get over it.

If it is any comfort, I've learnt lately that with each relationship passed, we learn more and more about ourselves. We learn what we want from our partner, and what we don't need. What we would tolerate, and what is non-negotiable. We become clear about what kind of relationship we desire. We do not try to change what the other person is so as to fit into our idea of the "perfect relationship". I have been guilty of doing that too! Through the many tears shed, I've (finally!) learnt the best approach is to know what factors truly matter in your relationship. If you can accept the shortcomings, go ahead and be in it. One must truly be able to accept those blotches. But if the flaw is as big as Sarah Jessica Parker's (now-removed) mole a plank in your eye, then leave it -- don't even attempt to change anyone to fit your world, I beg you. It never would.

Accept, if you can.
Leave, if you can't.

It can be that simple. It ought to be. And this time round, I'm keeping it that simple. I have finally figured it out. :)

Hope: Drug or Remedy

Was watching a re-run of Sex and the City yesterday. One can never get enough of this show! No matter what age group you belong to, no matter how many times you've watched the show, no matter which stage in life or what emotional state you are watching the show at, you'll always relate to one part of the show or other. You'll always find a "that's me!"-moment. You'll also be thankful there are millions and millions of women out there struggling with the same issues you've been so tortured with, and that your problem is not unique. And there are solutions to it. Even if there are none, take heart in knowing that some of us do really understand you. (Alright, unless you are a man.)

In the episode last night, Carrie Bradshaw asked this question:
Is hope a drug we need to go off of or is it keeping us alive?

This questiong has been going through my mind all day. Why do women torture ourselves with aching hopes, and then get ourselves crushed when hope drops us from the high? Are you not strong enough to go off the drug of hope, and rather be addicted to hope and risk your heart out there over and over again?

Or is hope the elixir of life that puts that dance in your step each day, making you more alive whenever you remember how all the risks and optimism may someday reap a good harvest? In the book of Corinthians in the bible, it says "And now these three remain: faith, hope and love." It is certainly a very important essence in life. What's a life if you can't/wont' even believe in hope anymore?

Is hope a drug we need to go off of or is it keeping us alive?