Waking up to these.I know I said this before but I'd just like to say it again. I love flowers. When I opened my eyes this morning, the scarlet roses were the first things I saw. I could get used to waking up this way! Any woman could. Bliss.
Showing posts with label lifestyle. Show all posts
Showing posts with label lifestyle. Show all posts
Monday, January 11, 2010
Waking Up To These
Waking up to these.I know I said this before but I'd just like to say it again. I love flowers. When I opened my eyes this morning, the scarlet roses were the first things I saw. I could get used to waking up this way! Any woman could. Bliss.
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
Of Abaya And Niqab
I came across this funny picture when I was surfing the internet. It was posted on this Muslim girl's blog about abaya fashion -- yes, she advises on how to bling-ified the black cloth or accessorise the overall look! She gives very interesting and useful tips for abaya-cloaked ladies. I actually enjoyed her blog reading very much.
I have always wondered how the ladies wearing niqab distinguish one friend from another. Is it just by the different abayas they are wearing? Or eye makeup (which I promise you, the Arab ladies does the best eye makeup in the world)? I've asked this question many times to many Arab friends but never got a satisfying answer. Usually the answer is "you just know". As for me, I only try to differentiate them by their abaya's blings or their handbags. So far it works... but once. I approached the wrong abaya-cloaked lady and spoke to her for several minutes before realising she was not the right person I was looking for. Blimey!
Did I mention I especially love the metal face veil of the traditional Emirati women? I find the metal piece very alluring and emphasises her big black eyes. The professing of my like for the metal face veil is often met with strong reactions from my friends. Same queer looks I get when I tell them how much I adore the Arabic oud perfume! Ah, I'm really made to live in this part of the world! (That'll be another blog entry on its own another day.)
I have always wondered how the ladies wearing niqab distinguish one friend from another. Is it just by the different abayas they are wearing? Or eye makeup (which I promise you, the Arab ladies does the best eye makeup in the world)? I've asked this question many times to many Arab friends but never got a satisfying answer. Usually the answer is "you just know". As for me, I only try to differentiate them by their abaya's blings or their handbags. So far it works... but once. I approached the wrong abaya-cloaked lady and spoke to her for several minutes before realising she was not the right person I was looking for. Blimey!Did I mention I especially love the metal face veil of the traditional Emirati women? I find the metal piece very alluring and emphasises her big black eyes. The professing of my like for the metal face veil is often met with strong reactions from my friends. Same queer looks I get when I tell them how much I adore the Arabic oud perfume! Ah, I'm really made to live in this part of the world! (That'll be another blog entry on its own another day.)
Thursday, August 20, 2009
Cougarism
There I said it.
Indeed, cougarism is the word these days. Older women with younger men, there's just a shady excitement to it like eating a forbidden fruit, an unspoken naughtiness that such combination exudes, an illicit discovery we crave to learn more about!
Yes, Demi Moore has done it. So has Madonna. And Mariah Carey. And Jennifer Aniston, and Drew Barrymore, and Kim Cattrall, Cher, Elizabeth Taylor, etc. Cougar is an urban term given to a woman who pursues much younger men. Wikipedia goes as far as specifying a cougar as a woman who sexually pursues men who are at least eight years her junior. Wow, strong words. But what used to be a social taboo and since been glorified by Hollywood -- well then again, doesn't everything get popularised this way these days? Yesteryear's restrains have since turned into victorious conquests and for some women! Hallelujah!
I definitely see this cougar trend growing among my friends. There's always a certain inner-circle cheeky smile that lights up their faces when I get them to talk about their relationship with their younger men. It's hard to pinpoint what it really is but it's like they know something we don't. As if one has to be initiated into the Cougar Club before she can learn the secret thrill of such relationship. It's intriguing, it's alluring, it's tempestuous! Here are a few things they've shared about their cougar relationship.
1) Eager to please
Younger men are eager to please their older girlfriends. They show more attention to the women. Whatever the younger men lack in financial sense, they make up for it by showering the women with special sweet surprises and aplenty attention to their every detail in life. I have to agree with this because older men then to believe they can buy their way into the women's world. And that whatever we need, they can satisfy by buying for us. Well, sometimes what women really need is just attention. Undivided attention from their all-so-important career, or golf/poker nights/beers. With younger men, their older girlfriends are always their priority in life. And most of the time, that's all a girl needs.
2) More respectful
Like shadow that comes with light, older men have inflated egos that comes their age and knowledge. With younger men, they acknowledge that their older girlfriends may be more worldly and thus tend to be more respectful to their opinions, ideas and perspectives. Younger men look up to older women, and shower them with the respect they deserve! For women, it's tiring, not to mention boring, dealing with older pompous men all the time. R.E.S.P.E.C.T, guys. You'll win if you can do that more.
3) Younger, Hotter, please
Like this t-shirt that says "Go for younger men. You might as well. They never mature anyway." That's right! Like men who always prefer younger, hotter girls, women also prefer young hot bods over saggy belly and balding head too. Younger men dresses well, put in effort with their hair, hygiene, skincare, lifestyle, etc. Older men unfortunately mistakenly think that tough and rough is sexy. And that unshaven and unkempt reveals their manliness. I'm just gonna say it once: NO, IT IS NOT. Gimme a metrosexual guy, I'll show you what is sexy.
4) I already have a father
I don't need another father figure in my life, thankyouverymuch. There is a difference between feeling secure with a man and feeling paternal with a man. We are confident, accomplished women who knows what we want in life. We don't need our older boyfriends to judge us, set rules for our lives, or restrict my lifestyle. Pussycat Dolls's song Hush Hush says it well:
I never needed you for pointing out my wrongs
I never needed you for judgment
I never needed you to question what I spend
I never ask for help
I take care of myself
I never needed your corrections
On everything from how I act to what I say
Why is that that only older men judge their girlfriends on who they hang out with, what time they should get home, how they should do things, what they wear, etc? I have a friend who openly declares his preference for older women. He was over at my place before we went clubbing the other day when I asked him for opinion on my ultra short dress. He said that there is no such thing as a dress that's too short. Or a cleavage that's too much. Bless him! Younger men really do know how to make a woman feel more beautiful!
5) Younger men makes women feel young
I still like clubbing, extreme sports, spontaneous travel, dancing in the rain, staying up all night, etc. Every now and then, I like to wreck some havoc. But older men are just too conservative, too proper, and most of all, too tired. Yes, they've been there, done that -- last decade. But I haven't! Why don't you have some fun with me too? In that aspect, younger men live life on the edge, seek fun in everything they do, and love with everything they have. And that is why women feel younger when they hang out with their younger boyfriends! Feel young, look young! Now beat that, SKII!
6) Less baggage
The last thing I need is to be a step-mom. Or dealing with a psychotic ex-girlfriend. Or those so-cliched emotional baggage. It's hard enough being a women. Let me be the only one in your life. Older men are often too jaded, too hard-heartened, too unwilling to love totally again. Well, girls, stop wasting time with such men. Find a fresh young thing and be the one that breaks his heart if you have to. But chances are you'll be in for treat for being his first love!
7) Sexually Compatible
A man's sexual peak is in his 20s and a woman in her 30s. This cougar-match will ensure equal bedroom desires. Also younger men are eager to show their older girlfriends they know what they are doing in bed. So they are eager to satisfy their women. Finally a man who puts our desires before theirs! God bless our younger men!
8) Stamina
Need I say more? 'nuff said. Yum!
I am neither advocating cougarism, or discouraging it. I applaud my cougar girlfriends, and totally respect my guy friends who prefers MLIF.
Hello, Zac Efron! Hello, Chace Crawford. How do you not be a cougar with these hot young bods perfect with those puppy eyes tempting you?
Indeed, cougarism is the word these days. Older women with younger men, there's just a shady excitement to it like eating a forbidden fruit, an unspoken naughtiness that such combination exudes, an illicit discovery we crave to learn more about!
Yes, Demi Moore has done it. So has Madonna. And Mariah Carey. And Jennifer Aniston, and Drew Barrymore, and Kim Cattrall, Cher, Elizabeth Taylor, etc. Cougar is an urban term given to a woman who pursues much younger men. Wikipedia goes as far as specifying a cougar as a woman who sexually pursues men who are at least eight years her junior. Wow, strong words. But what used to be a social taboo and since been glorified by Hollywood -- well then again, doesn't everything get popularised this way these days? Yesteryear's restrains have since turned into victorious conquests and for some women! Hallelujah!
I definitely see this cougar trend growing among my friends. There's always a certain inner-circle cheeky smile that lights up their faces when I get them to talk about their relationship with their younger men. It's hard to pinpoint what it really is but it's like they know something we don't. As if one has to be initiated into the Cougar Club before she can learn the secret thrill of such relationship. It's intriguing, it's alluring, it's tempestuous! Here are a few things they've shared about their cougar relationship.
1) Eager to please
Younger men are eager to please their older girlfriends. They show more attention to the women. Whatever the younger men lack in financial sense, they make up for it by showering the women with special sweet surprises and aplenty attention to their every detail in life. I have to agree with this because older men then to believe they can buy their way into the women's world. And that whatever we need, they can satisfy by buying for us. Well, sometimes what women really need is just attention. Undivided attention from their all-so-important career, or golf/poker nights/beers. With younger men, their older girlfriends are always their priority in life. And most of the time, that's all a girl needs.
2) More respectful
Like shadow that comes with light, older men have inflated egos that comes their age and knowledge. With younger men, they acknowledge that their older girlfriends may be more worldly and thus tend to be more respectful to their opinions, ideas and perspectives. Younger men look up to older women, and shower them with the respect they deserve! For women, it's tiring, not to mention boring, dealing with older pompous men all the time. R.E.S.P.E.C.T, guys. You'll win if you can do that more.
3) Younger, Hotter, please
Like this t-shirt that says "Go for younger men. You might as well. They never mature anyway." That's right! Like men who always prefer younger, hotter girls, women also prefer young hot bods over saggy belly and balding head too. Younger men dresses well, put in effort with their hair, hygiene, skincare, lifestyle, etc. Older men unfortunately mistakenly think that tough and rough is sexy. And that unshaven and unkempt reveals their manliness. I'm just gonna say it once: NO, IT IS NOT. Gimme a metrosexual guy, I'll show you what is sexy.4) I already have a father
I don't need another father figure in my life, thankyouverymuch. There is a difference between feeling secure with a man and feeling paternal with a man. We are confident, accomplished women who knows what we want in life. We don't need our older boyfriends to judge us, set rules for our lives, or restrict my lifestyle. Pussycat Dolls's song Hush Hush says it well:
I never needed you for pointing out my wrongs
I never needed you for judgment
I never needed you to question what I spend
I never ask for help
I take care of myself
I never needed your corrections
On everything from how I act to what I say
Why is that that only older men judge their girlfriends on who they hang out with, what time they should get home, how they should do things, what they wear, etc? I have a friend who openly declares his preference for older women. He was over at my place before we went clubbing the other day when I asked him for opinion on my ultra short dress. He said that there is no such thing as a dress that's too short. Or a cleavage that's too much. Bless him! Younger men really do know how to make a woman feel more beautiful!
5) Younger men makes women feel young
I still like clubbing, extreme sports, spontaneous travel, dancing in the rain, staying up all night, etc. Every now and then, I like to wreck some havoc. But older men are just too conservative, too proper, and most of all, too tired. Yes, they've been there, done that -- last decade. But I haven't! Why don't you have some fun with me too? In that aspect, younger men live life on the edge, seek fun in everything they do, and love with everything they have. And that is why women feel younger when they hang out with their younger boyfriends! Feel young, look young! Now beat that, SKII!
6) Less baggage
The last thing I need is to be a step-mom. Or dealing with a psychotic ex-girlfriend. Or those so-cliched emotional baggage. It's hard enough being a women. Let me be the only one in your life. Older men are often too jaded, too hard-heartened, too unwilling to love totally again. Well, girls, stop wasting time with such men. Find a fresh young thing and be the one that breaks his heart if you have to. But chances are you'll be in for treat for being his first love!
7) Sexually Compatible
A man's sexual peak is in his 20s and a woman in her 30s. This cougar-match will ensure equal bedroom desires. Also younger men are eager to show their older girlfriends they know what they are doing in bed. So they are eager to satisfy their women. Finally a man who puts our desires before theirs! God bless our younger men!
8) Stamina
Need I say more? 'nuff said. Yum!
I am neither advocating cougarism, or discouraging it. I applaud my cougar girlfriends, and totally respect my guy friends who prefers MLIF.
Hello, Zac Efron! Hello, Chace Crawford. How do you not be a cougar with these hot young bods perfect with those puppy eyes tempting you?
Thursday, August 6, 2009
The Great Divide: Single vs Married
I am having the time of my life! Pardon me for the lack of updates. I just haven't had time to construct my thoughts and my colourful life into words and readable entries. Just too many things going on in life. Bless my soul.
My Facebook photo albums are filled with partying pictures, my weekends are packed with outdoor activities and drinks sessions, my everyday life is a series of exciting projects and making new interesting friends along the way. Press the PAUSE button here. And rewrite the above as if I were married. My Facebook photo albums will be filled with my kids pictures (heck, even the profile picture will be some parenthood propaganda-worthy photo!), my weekends will be packed with cuddle-ups and DVDs, my everyday life will be work-home-dinner-sleep (repeat as often as necessary). *unpause*
When I was home last month, I encounter first-hand the vast difference in lifestyle of the singles and the married. The singles are living it up working hard and partying hard, travelling lots, packing every weekends with tennis/wakeboarding/cycling/you-name-it, catching up with old friends and making new one too, looking fabulous and well-maintained. The married are staying away from public area, preferring to spend "quality time" at home, making a trip to the buffet line at a hotel restaurant THE highlight of the year, jiggling the excess stomach fats of your partner and feeling contented because only you see the real beauty in him/her, and attending other married couples' kids' birthday parties. Yawn, I'm bored just writing about that.
This is the great divide between the single and the married.
The singles dress up, paint their faces, lead a full and fun life day to night (and past that!). The married dresses down, go barefaced, lead a predictable exclusive-to-couple life day to 9pm. The single clubs, and the married snubs. The single loves life, the married loves family life. The singles hang out, the married back out -- of all social events unless necessary. Meeting for a drink means hanging out at a nice pub. Or does meeting for a drink means having a coffee at a cafe near home. You know which is for which.
I was out partying with my single girlfriend when I told her she was the few friends I've had since high school who still clubs. Because I'm still single, she replied. I recalled the previous weekend when I had another gathering with some ex-classmates. They were all either married or lugging a kid around to the meet-up. By 8pm, they flashed the "Junior needs to sleep"-card or "My husband doesn't like me staying out late"-card. Does married life translates to no clubbing, no staying out late, no activities on weekends, no heels or lipsticks, no fun social life? And why do the married view the single as... well for the lack of better words, failure? Before you protest, let me explain.
The married is always eager to hook up their single friends with another wonderful friend (who often turns out to be fugly, balding and smells. And non-existential EQ). The married scoffs at the clubbing scene, despising friendships made at such places. The married sees weekend activities as a dread with no special agenda other than to stay in. But this is the ultimate: The married believe they have made it. And everyone else who is not married have not.
It is no wonder the singles stop asking the married friends out. Because it's most often 1+1 (even if it's a girls' night out!). Also if the singles were to meet their married friends, they have to forgo pretty frocks and lovely locks. They have to dress down because the married can't fit into their summer dresses anymore and doesn't have anything else to bunch up their hair other than an old faded scrunchie. The singles want to talk about their exciting holiday trips, while the married want to discuss breast pumps and diapers.
Neither want to hang out with the other for the lack of common topic of interest. Neither can integrate their lives with the other without some snobbishness in believing they have the better live.
I've seen too many real-life example of uninspired cuddle-up weekends of married couples. I've heard too much self-glorification in the "kind" advices of married couples. I've picked up the "I've made it"-signals from the married friends. (Do you also sense the "I won't ever notice, much less marry your husband even if you pay me a million bucks and he's the last man on earth"-signal from me?)
I won't say which side of The Great Divide is better. But...
I'm young and has the world under my feet. I have lots to offer and lots to take from it. I am just starting to ride the crest of life. I crave the high of meeting someone gorgeous and knowing it could lead to something more. I don't do cuddle-up weekends. I don't like sharing my bed. I'm taking life by its neck and I need both arms -- can't spare one in somebody's arm. I like options. I prefer deciding for "me" than for "us". I enjoy fancy dinner dates, the rush of that first kiss, the lingering goodbyes at the end of the day. I like to be on this side of the Divide. I have the rest of my life for the other side. Why hurry to start now?
Don't need to be on somebody's arm to look good
(I like who I am)
I'm not saying I don't wanna fall in love 'cos I would
I'm not gonna get hooked up just 'cos you say I should
(Can't romance on demand)
I'm gonna wait so I'm sorry if you misunderstood
- Single (Natasha Bedingfield)
My Facebook photo albums are filled with partying pictures, my weekends are packed with outdoor activities and drinks sessions, my everyday life is a series of exciting projects and making new interesting friends along the way. Press the PAUSE button here. And rewrite the above as if I were married. My Facebook photo albums will be filled with my kids pictures (heck, even the profile picture will be some parenthood propaganda-worthy photo!), my weekends will be packed with cuddle-ups and DVDs, my everyday life will be work-home-dinner-sleep (repeat as often as necessary). *unpause*
When I was home last month, I encounter first-hand the vast difference in lifestyle of the singles and the married. The singles are living it up working hard and partying hard, travelling lots, packing every weekends with tennis/wakeboarding/cycling/you-name-it, catching up with old friends and making new one too, looking fabulous and well-maintained. The married are staying away from public area, preferring to spend "quality time" at home, making a trip to the buffet line at a hotel restaurant THE highlight of the year, jiggling the excess stomach fats of your partner and feeling contented because only you see the real beauty in him/her, and attending other married couples' kids' birthday parties. Yawn, I'm bored just writing about that.
This is the great divide between the single and the married.
The singles dress up, paint their faces, lead a full and fun life day to night (and past that!). The married dresses down, go barefaced, lead a predictable exclusive-to-couple life day to 9pm. The single clubs, and the married snubs. The single loves life, the married loves family life. The singles hang out, the married back out -- of all social events unless necessary. Meeting for a drink means hanging out at a nice pub. Or does meeting for a drink means having a coffee at a cafe near home. You know which is for which.
I was out partying with my single girlfriend when I told her she was the few friends I've had since high school who still clubs. Because I'm still single, she replied. I recalled the previous weekend when I had another gathering with some ex-classmates. They were all either married or lugging a kid around to the meet-up. By 8pm, they flashed the "Junior needs to sleep"-card or "My husband doesn't like me staying out late"-card. Does married life translates to no clubbing, no staying out late, no activities on weekends, no heels or lipsticks, no fun social life? And why do the married view the single as... well for the lack of better words, failure? Before you protest, let me explain.
The married is always eager to hook up their single friends with another wonderful friend (who often turns out to be fugly, balding and smells. And non-existential EQ). The married scoffs at the clubbing scene, despising friendships made at such places. The married sees weekend activities as a dread with no special agenda other than to stay in. But this is the ultimate: The married believe they have made it. And everyone else who is not married have not.
It is no wonder the singles stop asking the married friends out. Because it's most often 1+1 (even if it's a girls' night out!). Also if the singles were to meet their married friends, they have to forgo pretty frocks and lovely locks. They have to dress down because the married can't fit into their summer dresses anymore and doesn't have anything else to bunch up their hair other than an old faded scrunchie. The singles want to talk about their exciting holiday trips, while the married want to discuss breast pumps and diapers.
Neither want to hang out with the other for the lack of common topic of interest. Neither can integrate their lives with the other without some snobbishness in believing they have the better live.
I've seen too many real-life example of uninspired cuddle-up weekends of married couples. I've heard too much self-glorification in the "kind" advices of married couples. I've picked up the "I've made it"-signals from the married friends. (Do you also sense the "I won't ever notice, much less marry your husband even if you pay me a million bucks and he's the last man on earth"-signal from me?)
I won't say which side of The Great Divide is better. But...
I'm young and has the world under my feet. I have lots to offer and lots to take from it. I am just starting to ride the crest of life. I crave the high of meeting someone gorgeous and knowing it could lead to something more. I don't do cuddle-up weekends. I don't like sharing my bed. I'm taking life by its neck and I need both arms -- can't spare one in somebody's arm. I like options. I prefer deciding for "me" than for "us". I enjoy fancy dinner dates, the rush of that first kiss, the lingering goodbyes at the end of the day. I like to be on this side of the Divide. I have the rest of my life for the other side. Why hurry to start now?Don't need to be on somebody's arm to look good
(I like who I am)
I'm not saying I don't wanna fall in love 'cos I would
I'm not gonna get hooked up just 'cos you say I should
(Can't romance on demand)
I'm gonna wait so I'm sorry if you misunderstood
- Single (Natasha Bedingfield)
Thursday, July 16, 2009
Mid-Week Partying
Mid-week partying is not for the faint-hearted. It is only suitable for the young ones. Or for those who don't have to go to work the next day. Luckily I fall into the second category. (Well, even the first too!)
So I was out at a club last night. On a Wednesday. Till 4am. It was helluva party nonetheless! Brought back lotsa memories of the days when I was clubbing till 4am and waking up at 7 to go to school. How did I ever do that? Ah, it's good to be young and full of energy. And sleep was definitely not a priority then.
I attempted to get out of bed -- four times. No wait, was it three? Or five? I lost count because I was basically climbing in and out of bed all day today. Woke up at 10 to have a quick breakfast which ended up in a struggle between swallowing the food and trying not to puke last night's alcohol. My head was spinning and my ears were ringing. So I decided that I needed the bed again. I laboured agonisingly to get out of bed several times after to get some work done, but to little success. I decided that today will be useless trying to be productive. I'm just too hungover.
Oh but how I miss mid-week partying! Lotsa fun memories of those carefree school days and brash youthfulness. At that age, going clubbing was a religion as it was cool "to see and to be seen" mixing with the popular crowd. A great night out meant getting wasted. Turning up at the school assembly the next morning with bloodshot eyes and reciting the national Pledge with alcohol breath meant you had partied hard.
But these days, clubbing is more of a personal choice than a social pressure. I enjoy letting my hair down with a few moves on the dance floor. I like getting excited about what to wear for the evening and getting my hair done for the party. I love indulging in the girly gossips with my sistas at the bar, or throwing flirty glances at yummilicious strangers across the room. Being a fun drunk, a few drinks always kick the party to a new high! (Now kids if you are reading this, if you drink, don't drive.)
If you are one of those "I'm happily married/in love, I don't need to club anymore"-couple, I don't even wanna begin telling you what you are missing out. If you club just to hook up sweet young things, this entry is not for you. *coughshamelesscough* If you party just to get drunk, here's one word for you -- sad. But if you club because you enjoy a good night out shaking your tushy on the dance floor, indulging in the great company of like-minded pals, getting high on life, you are one who brings the party with you wherever you go! You celebrate life! And you live it up! (Send in your application here to be my partying mate!)
Now I have to go nurse my hangover.
So I was out at a club last night. On a Wednesday. Till 4am. It was helluva party nonetheless! Brought back lotsa memories of the days when I was clubbing till 4am and waking up at 7 to go to school. How did I ever do that? Ah, it's good to be young and full of energy. And sleep was definitely not a priority then.
I attempted to get out of bed -- four times. No wait, was it three? Or five? I lost count because I was basically climbing in and out of bed all day today. Woke up at 10 to have a quick breakfast which ended up in a struggle between swallowing the food and trying not to puke last night's alcohol. My head was spinning and my ears were ringing. So I decided that I needed the bed again. I laboured agonisingly to get out of bed several times after to get some work done, but to little success. I decided that today will be useless trying to be productive. I'm just too hungover.Oh but how I miss mid-week partying! Lotsa fun memories of those carefree school days and brash youthfulness. At that age, going clubbing was a religion as it was cool "to see and to be seen" mixing with the popular crowd. A great night out meant getting wasted. Turning up at the school assembly the next morning with bloodshot eyes and reciting the national Pledge with alcohol breath meant you had partied hard.
But these days, clubbing is more of a personal choice than a social pressure. I enjoy letting my hair down with a few moves on the dance floor. I like getting excited about what to wear for the evening and getting my hair done for the party. I love indulging in the girly gossips with my sistas at the bar, or throwing flirty glances at yummilicious strangers across the room. Being a fun drunk, a few drinks always kick the party to a new high! (Now kids if you are reading this, if you drink, don't drive.)
If you are one of those "I'm happily married/in love, I don't need to club anymore"-couple, I don't even wanna begin telling you what you are missing out. If you club just to hook up sweet young things, this entry is not for you. *coughshamelesscough* If you party just to get drunk, here's one word for you -- sad. But if you club because you enjoy a good night out shaking your tushy on the dance floor, indulging in the great company of like-minded pals, getting high on life, you are one who brings the party with you wherever you go! You celebrate life! And you live it up! (Send in your application here to be my partying mate!)
Now I have to go nurse my hangover.
Sunday, July 12, 2009
How To Make New Friends
Whoever laments that it is difficult to make new friends at our twirty-something age, I'd just like to retort that it is not. It is easier than asking your boss for a promotion, it is not as hard as waking up at six in the morning, and it take more skills to scrub your bathtub when you have perfectly manicured nails than to make new friends.
Last Saturday, my best friend's colleague celebrated her birthday at one of the most popular club in town. My best friend invited me to hang out with her Engineering department colleagues. Despite initial suspicion it would be an uneventful evening, her colleagues turned out to be dancing kings/queens. They were welcoming and chatty, and I learnt more than a few internal jokes and scandals.
Another friend invited me to a gig last night. It was a new album launch gig by a local band of which one of the member is his friend. I know neither the band nor the friend. I have never even attended a gig before! But it didn't take me long to agree to go. Always say yes, if you can, someone once told me. You never know what opportunities life holds for you. And indeed, I met three amazing girls at the gig. They were my friend's university friends. Upon seeing I was left alone at the bar when my friend went for a smoke outside, they invited me to join them at their table. I did, and they made special effort to include me in their conversations. We laughed, goss-ed, drank, and promised to stay in touch when the evening ended.
Throw yourself out there to allow life to open up doors for you. Have a soda the pub with your colleagues even if you don't drink. Have a go at the Pilates class which your best friend has been inviting you to try. Movie night with your friend's poker friends? Why not? You'll be surprise how easy it is to meet new people, and how many folks out there are open to making new friends just like you are.
Remember that everyone is just as uncertain about making new friends too. I am not one that advises people to "just be yourself". (I'll stay in bed all day if I'll just be myself!) You need to push yourself just a little more. My best advice: Be a little more chatty when you meet new friends. Don't just speak only when asked. Do the asking too. Then listen and respond. Everyone likes to talk to someone who seems interested. (And interesting!) Be that someone. It's that easy to make new friends.
I'm loving my new friendships, the excitement of joining new activities, the prospect of knowing there's a world of friends-who-don't-know-one-another-yet.
Just be out there! Be open to going to a concert with your friend's friend's friends, or taking up tennis class with your cousin's colleagues, or meeting up for drinks with your sister's boyfriend's friends. Be open to invitations, and just have fun! When you simply throw yourselves out there and expect nothing but a fun time for yourself, you will attract happy people into your life. You will make new friends along the way -- without even trying.
Last Saturday, my best friend's colleague celebrated her birthday at one of the most popular club in town. My best friend invited me to hang out with her Engineering department colleagues. Despite initial suspicion it would be an uneventful evening, her colleagues turned out to be dancing kings/queens. They were welcoming and chatty, and I learnt more than a few internal jokes and scandals.
Another friend invited me to a gig last night. It was a new album launch gig by a local band of which one of the member is his friend. I know neither the band nor the friend. I have never even attended a gig before! But it didn't take me long to agree to go. Always say yes, if you can, someone once told me. You never know what opportunities life holds for you. And indeed, I met three amazing girls at the gig. They were my friend's university friends. Upon seeing I was left alone at the bar when my friend went for a smoke outside, they invited me to join them at their table. I did, and they made special effort to include me in their conversations. We laughed, goss-ed, drank, and promised to stay in touch when the evening ended.
Throw yourself out there to allow life to open up doors for you. Have a soda the pub with your colleagues even if you don't drink. Have a go at the Pilates class which your best friend has been inviting you to try. Movie night with your friend's poker friends? Why not? You'll be surprise how easy it is to meet new people, and how many folks out there are open to making new friends just like you are.
Remember that everyone is just as uncertain about making new friends too. I am not one that advises people to "just be yourself". (I'll stay in bed all day if I'll just be myself!) You need to push yourself just a little more. My best advice: Be a little more chatty when you meet new friends. Don't just speak only when asked. Do the asking too. Then listen and respond. Everyone likes to talk to someone who seems interested. (And interesting!) Be that someone. It's that easy to make new friends.
I'm loving my new friendships, the excitement of joining new activities, the prospect of knowing there's a world of friends-who-don't-know-one-another-yet.
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